The job search is emotionally draining, and it’s understandable. You put portions of yourself on paper, in networking discussions, interviews, and in the ether of online applications and emailed meeting requests. The response is usually silence. That quiet can discourage people from persevering until they start receiving more positive responses, or it can just overpower the happy sensations that come with job search triumphs.
Self-compassion can be beneficial along the road. This is a hot topic. Dr. Kristin Neff’s three-pronged definition of self-compassion includes kindness towards oneself, awareness of shared experiences, and the ability to recognize negative experiences without over-identifying with them. Any job seeker who can complete this magic trifecta will have an easier time sticking with the job search.
It’s also beneficial to have compassion for the people who can be the most difficult to empathize with: recruiting managers. Hiring managers are often portrayed as cold-hearted individuals who refuse to give anyone a chance, require candidates to be perfect, and purposefully undercommunicate. It may appear that they have no emotional investment in the outcome.
Of course they do; they must make an informed decision about who to recruit, despite having limited information about prospects. They are concerned that some candidates may exaggerate or lie. They must select between a small pool of applicants with whom they are familiar and a wider pool of complete strangers. And they understand that being able to perform the job’s requirements does not guarantee that they will work well with the rest of the team.
In addition, they will meet numerous people they like and may only have one job to give. It’s not fun to reject down job offers, especially when you wish you could make one for them.
Of course, having compassion for hiring managers is beneficial to your own peace of mind. It’s easy to recognize that not receiving an offer isn’t a personal rejection, but rather an attempt to make the best decision in a difficult position.
However, compassion can also have a good impact on your job search. Compassion includes a desire to help. Compassion can help you remove the lens that stifles good job applications: the lens that focuses on what you want at the expense of comprehending what the employer needs to know. What does each hiring manager need to know about you in order to screen you or learn more? How can you format your documents, online profile, and meeting requests in such a way that they can immediately see how you can assist them in completing their tasks?
Just remember to show yourself some compassion when it’s really difficult to empathize with the hiring manager.